6 mins

Coping with grief

Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience. Whether you’ve lost a parent, a child, a partner, or a dear friend, the pain of losing someone you love can feel all-consuming. The journey of coping with grief is not linear; it’s a process that ebbs and flows, bringing with it a range of emotions and challenges. In this post, we’ll explore the complexities of grief, the emotions that accompany it, and offer guidance on how to navigate this difficult time.

Understanding grief symptoms

Grief affects everyone differently, and the symptoms can vary widely from person to person. Some common grief symptoms include intense sadness, feelings of emptiness, anger, guilt, and anxiety. You might also experience physical symptoms such as fatigue, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. It’s important to remember that these symptoms are a natural response to loss, even though they can be incredibly challenging to endure.

In addition to emotional and physical symptoms, grief can also affect your mental and cognitive functioning. You might find it hard to concentrate, struggle with decision-making, or feel detached from reality. These symptoms can be particularly distressing, but understanding that they are part of the grieving process can help you be more gentle with yourself as you navigate them.

What are the seven stages of grief?

The grieving process is often described in terms of the seven stages of grief: shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction and working through, and finally, acceptance and hope. It’s important to note that these stages are not experienced in a specific order, nor does everyone go through all seven stages. Your journey through grief is unique, and you may find yourself moving back and forth between these stages as you process your loss.

The first stage, shock and denial, can leave you feeling numb and unable to accept the reality of your loss. As you move into pain and guilt, the reality begins to sink in, and you may feel an overwhelming sense of sorrow and regret. Anger and bargaining can follow, where you might question why this happened and experience feelings of frustration or helplessness.

As grief progresses, depression often sets in, characterised by deep sadness and despair. This is often the longest stage, and it can feel like you’ll never find your way out of the darkness. However, as time passes, you may begin to experience an upward turn, where the intense emotions start to ease. This leads to reconstruction and working through, where you start to find ways to coping with grief and begin to rebuild your life. Finally, acceptance and hope can bring a sense of peace and the ability to look forward with hope.

Dealing with grief of a parent

Dealing with the grief of a parent is a deeply personal journey. The loss of a parent can feel like losing a part of yourself, and it’s normal to experience a range of complex emotions. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, or even a sense of relief if your parent was suffering. Allow yourself to grieve in your own time and in your own way.

For a daughter grieving the loss of a father, the pain can be particularly intense. The father-daughter bond is often one of deep love and protection, and losing this connection can leave a significant void. You might feel a mix of emotions when coping with grief, from longing and sadness to anger and even guilt.

Finding support, whether through friends, family, or a support group, can be invaluable. Sharing your experience with others who understand can provide comfort and reassurance. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to be kind to yourself during this time.

Grief emotions: navigating the emotional turmoil

Grief emotions can be overwhelming and difficult to manage. You might feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, with intense highs and lows that seem impossible to control. Sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief can all be part of the grieving process, and it’s important to acknowledge and validate these emotions rather than suppress them.

One of the most challenging aspects of grief is dealing with the emotions that come in waves, sometimes when you least expect them. These feelings can be triggered by memories, significant dates, or even everyday moments. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but also find ways to ground yourself when they become too intense. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or simply taking a walk can help you manage the emotional upheaval.

Bereavement counselling for a child

When a child loses a loved one, particularly a parent, the impact can be devastating. Bereavement counselling for a child can be crucial in helping them understand and process their grief. Children may struggle to express their emotions and might not fully understand the concept of death. Counselling provides them with a safe space to talk about their feelings and learn coping strategies that are appropriate for their age.

As a parent or guardian, it’s important to keep communication open and honest. Encourage your child to ask questions and express their feelings, and be patient with them as they navigate their grief. Professional counselling can offer additional support, helping your child develop healthy ways to cope with their loss and build resilience for the future.

Grief coping strategies

Developing effective grief coping strategies can help you manage the intense emotions that accompany loss. Here are some practical tips to support your healing process to coping with grief:

  1. Allow yourself to grieve: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions fully. Suppressing grief can lead to unresolved pain, so it’s important to let yourself experience the sorrow, anger, and all the emotions that come with loss.
  2. Seek support: Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a support group. Sharing your feelings with others who care can provide comfort and help you feel less alone.
  3. Create rituals: Honouring your loved one’s memory through rituals, such as lighting a candle, creating a memory box, or celebrating their birthday, can help you feel connected to them.
  4. Take care of your physical health: Grief can take a toll on your body, so it’s important to eat well, get enough sleep, and engage in physical activity. Taking care of your body can also help support your mental and emotional health.
  5. Consider professional help: If your grief feels overwhelming or if you’re struggling to cope, consider seeking help from a counsellor or therapist. Professional support can provide you with additional tools to navigate your grief.

Grief is a journey that no one should have to walk alone. Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a parent, supporting a child through bereavement, or navigating your own complex emotions, it’s important to reach out for support and give yourself the time and space to heal. Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means finding a way to live with your loss while honouring the memory of your loved one.

Dr Elena Touroni

Dr Elena Touroni

8 August 2024

"Dr. Elena Touroni is a skilled and experienced Consultant Psychologist with a track record of delivering high-quality services for individuals with all common emotional difficulties and those with a diagnosis of personality disorder. She is experienced in service design and delivery, the management of multi-disciplinary teams, organisational consultancy, and development and delivery of both national and bespoke training to providers in the statutory and non-statutory sector."

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Marina Hilleary

Dr Marina Hilleary is a Clinical Psychologist working in the NHS and private practice. She completed her BSc in Psychology at the University of Exeter, graduating with first-class honours and was subsequently awarded an MSc in Mental Health Studies and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience, King’s College London.

Dr Hilleary has 9 years of clinical experience in various NHS mental health settings, her current position being on a Specialist Adolescent Team at a Community Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). She has a specialist interest in working with children, young people and their families and has worked with young people presenting with a wide range of difficulties including depression, low self-esteem, anxiety (specific phobias, GAD, social anxiety, separation anxiety, panic and OCD), PTSD, behaviours that challenge and additional neurodevelopmental needs.

Dr Hilleary is experienced in carrying out comprehensive psychological assessments (including cognitive assessments) and recognises the importance of working towards a shared understanding of the presenting difficulties to enable a positive therapeutic outcome. She draws on a range of evidence-based psychological therapies and models, including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness-Based approaches. In addition, Dr Hilleary utilises systemic family approaches when working with young people and their families.

Dr Hilleary adopts an integrative, compassionate and person-centred approach to engage young people, building their motivation to participate in decisions around their care plan and achieve their therapeutic goals. She works creatively with her clients and, where appropriate, alongside any of their important support systems.