Schema Therapy for Couples

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What is schema therapy for couples?

A schema – otherwise known as a “life trap” – is a blueprint through which we see the world, ourselves and other people. It usually forms in response to our early experiences, especially if our emotional needs were not met growing up.

 

Our schemas can play a significant role in our relationships, both in terms of how we connect with others and even the types of people we find ourselves drawn to. This is sometimes referred to as “schema chemistry”.

 

Schema therapy for couples focuses on identifying the schemas of each partner and how they interact in the relationship. The aim is to help partners better understand each other and break free of unhealthy relationship patterns ultimately, bringing harmony to the relationship.

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What happens in schema couples therapy?

Following your initial assessment, the first part of your therapy will be focused on identifying which schemas are at play in your relationship. We will also assess the particular triggers that tend to create difficulties and leave you feeling “stuck”.

 

But it’s not just schemas that we’ll be looking at – we’ll also be looking at how you both cope with your schemas. Whether you cope with difficulties by shutting down, flaring up or criticising and blaming, these are often found to be old coping styles from the past. And while they may have been beneficial in helping you maintain some degree of connection in more dysfunctional environments, they can often end up blocking it later on.

 

In schema therapy, the focus is on finding healthier ways of asking for your needs to be met so both partners feel seen, heard and valued in the relationship. This begins to happen naturally as each of you start to get a better understanding of where the other is coming from and what is at the root of problematic interactions.

Frequently asked questions

You are most likely to be offered schema therapy for couples if we make the judgement that you and your partner are repeating relational patterns that we believe are rooted in the past. Schema therapy will help you conceptualise the nature of these patterns and understand how you and your partner might be taking on different roles at different times leaving you feeling stuck.
We will recommend schema therapy if we believe you would benefit from a more active approach to therapy. Schema therapy will help you gain insight into the different patterns at play in your relationship so that you can relate to each other in more genuine and vulnerable ways.
Schema therapy for couples will usually last at least 6 months as this model of therapy is helping you change very pervasive patterns and deal with issues at a deeper level.

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Marina Hilleary

December 9, 2024 No Comments

Dr Marina Hilleary is a Clinical Psychologist working in the NHS and private practice. She completed her BSc in Psychology at the University of Exeter, graduating with first-class honours and was subsequently awarded an MSc in Mental Health Studies and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience, King’s College London.

Dr Hilleary has 9 years of clinical experience in various NHS mental health settings, her current position being on a Specialist Adolescent Team at a Community Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). She has a specialist interest in working with children, young people and their families and has worked with young people presenting with a wide range of difficulties including depression, low self-esteem, anxiety (specific phobias, GAD, social anxiety, separation anxiety, panic and OCD), PTSD, behaviours that challenge and additional neurodevelopmental needs.

Dr Hilleary is experienced in carrying out comprehensive psychological assessments (including cognitive assessments) and recognises the importance of working towards a shared understanding of the presenting difficulties to enable a positive therapeutic outcome. She draws on a range of evidence-based psychological therapies and models, including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness-Based approaches. In addition, Dr Hilleary utilises systemic family approaches when working with young people and their families.

Dr Hilleary adopts an integrative, compassionate and person-centred approach to engage young people, building their motivation to participate in decisions around their care plan and achieve their therapeutic goals. She works creatively with her clients and, where appropriate, alongside any of their important support systems.